then. call me a germaphobe. uncle john.

so. at work, i occasionally go to the bathroom. i don't want to go into any details about the adventure exactly, but i do want to draw attention to an item in the bathroom that i see. i see this item only when i go into the "stall." you know the one. the one with inch thick fiberglass walls, held together with shinny metal connectors. a door, complete with gaps on either side of it.

and most famously, the large gap beneath the walls. the gap that men and women look at each others shoes through. the gap that kids will lean down and look out of. (and other kids will come up to, and lean down to look up into.) this large gap, however most intriguing it is, is not the item i want to draw your attention to though. not today.

what i see when i go into the "stall" is uncle johns bathroom reader. and not just one of them. its always either two or three. and these big shiney colorful books are always stacked at the back of the pot. the johnny. the johnny on the spot. there they are. every time. and ever time i see them i have this thought that runs through my head: do people actually read these?!??

wait what? really?!? you mean, people that are doing the ol johnny spot reading the uncle johns bathroom reader?!? are you serious?!? i know it says "bathroom reader" but does that mean people "read it in the batheroom"? im appalled.

the reason i know people read these is because they are always kind of shuffled around. the pages are worn, maybe even bent, and.... ... discolored. AND they get rotated. about every two weeks one disappears and a new one shows up. wow. incredible. incredulous. inscrumpable. the ol unlcle john on the johnny spot.

one time i even saw it on the floor. oh man. i think i even had a gag reflex. i calmly shoved it with the point of my shoe to the edge of the johnny and tried not to look at, or think about it. (i still try not to think about that)

and so it goes. so the life of public restrooms. so the success of uncle johns bathroom reader. i will admit, it is tempting to read such wonderful useless facts all day long. it really is. but at the risk of getting some sort of viral meningitis, i think ill pass.

sorry john. but thanks for watching my back anyways.