9.29.2006

Major Major Major Major

at the tail end of the last post...there was some, what appeared to be randomness. i assure you - this is not the case. in fact, the string of text, in seemingly-random order is in fact, intensly complex. to delve slightly deeper into this complexity. i will explain -slightly- the last two phrases:

Crazy. Like major major major major.
first off. an introduction to Joseph Heller's classic novel Catch-22. brilliant. crazy. brilliant twice. funny. satire. this book is one of my favorite top 5 books i would have to say. if you have not read it. read it. if you have read it. read it. get it. need it. when i say crazy. i mean like catch-22. not like it, but like whats in it. the thing thats there when you read it. not what is in it. but what there when you read it. its what is like it. and that my deer friend is crazy. and thats part of the catch. see the actual catch-22 (quoted from the book) goes something like this:
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.
"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he [Yossarian] observed.
"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.
see its all just very simple. so you get the picture. so its crazy like that.

from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catch-22:
Much of Heller's prose in Catch-22 is circular and repetitive, exemplifying in its form the structure of a catch-22. Heller revels in the use of paradox. For example, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likeable. In three days no one could stand him, and The case against Clevinger was open and shut. The only thing missing was something to charge him with. This constantly undermines the reader's understanding of the milieu of the characters, and is key to understanding the book. An atmosphere of logical irrationality pervades the whole description of Yossarian's life in the armed forces, and indeed the entire book.
and then theres major major major major, the person. yes. i was reading what wikipedia.org had to say about major major major major today. it had me laughing. its not intended to be funny. its just that its crazy. and maybe im crazy. but its funny. funny crazy. and the craziness is funny. ive decided to include parts of the craziness here "inblog" from wikipedia about major major major major.

Major Major Major Major is a character in Joseph Heller's classic novel Catch-22.

He has the surname Major, and at birth his father gave him the first and middle names Major and Major, despite informing the mother that he had named the boy 'Caleb' in accordance with her wishes. She only discovers Major Major Major's real first and middle names when his birth certificate is required for him to enter kindergarten, and the shock leads to her death. The novel explains this was a joke on his father's part, and notes that it is not a particularly funny one.

Inducted during World War II, he is promoted from Private to Major while still in boot camp, without attending the Officers Training Corps or any advance warning at all. This is caused by an IBM machine with a "sense of humor almost as keen as his father's". A recurring joke in the book is that he bears a striking resemblance to Henry Fonda, even to the point of some people thinking that he is in fact Henry Fonda.

During the novel, it is revealed that he can never be promoted nor demoted, because the army has only one Major Major Major Major and Ex-PFC Wintergreen does not intend to let this change.

Major Major was also promoted to squadron commander after his predecessor, Major Duluth, was killed in action. It is this event that causes Major Major to become a recluse: he stops eating meals at the mess hall, he avoids all his duties by forging false names to correspondence requiring his signature, and he enters his office by scooting along a ditch, then jumping through a window.

Upon discovering that forging false names (like Washington Irving and Irving Washington) to official correspondence would considerably decrease his workload, Major Major began to sign every document with those two names. This caused a duo of CID men (who were not working together, and were in fact trying to kill each other) to begin an investigation as to the identity of the forger. Because Yossarian once censored an enlisted man's letter and attached the group chaplain's name to it, the CID men believed that said chaplain was intercepting Major Major's correspondence and forging signatures onto them. This investigation eventually leads to the chaplain's arrest and trial.

His father, mentioned briefly in the novel, is one of the richest alfalfa farmers in his community. He receives a farm subsidy for every crop of alfalfa that he does not grow with his farmland and uses this money to buy more land to not grow alfalfa on. He believes that receiving money for not producing something is divinely ordained. Ironically, he preaches the proverb "You reap what you sow", and maintains that federal aid to anyone but farmers is "creeping socialism". He would leap out of bed at noon each day, to ensure that the chores were not being done.

yes yes yes i know that. i heart it. while whistling respectifully.

9.28.2006

dork - in dedication to my friend sarah

so i grew up thinking that maybe i was a dork. what a thought. what a terrible thought for a kid. and then people would actually say it. "youre a dork jared". no im not - i would defend. and what sort of defense is that anyways? who says that. when someone told Jesus that he wasnt Jesus. did he defend it with "Yes I am" (well actually he did say that once or twice, but) usually he had a wicked cool answer. (but it wasnt wicked, get it) so anyways. Im not a dork, i would yell, to the skies. and no suffice. recently, ive been confronted with myself that i may in fact actually be a dork. self, i say. yes, i respond. youre probably a dork. well, no im not, in defense. yes you are. no im not. Self. yes. you ARE probably a dork. ok. so maybe i am. you are. fine, i am. so get off it. leave it you dork. ok dork. ok.

and so ive resolved it. im a dork. and im going to embrace it like a dork.

word.

take it back.

to the skies.

peter pan like.

I DONT KNOW.

You Know. Crazy. Like major major major major.

9.26.2006

what we have here is a failure to communicate

so it appears that the links to the music songs dont work. shazzle. i will try to get that to work in the future. those songs are just brilliant. for now...here are some links to articles dealing with the question/theory that "men need to be needed" no comment for now. just read the articles if you have time to blow.

roll it.


Dateless Women Need To Soften Up

Guys Need To Be Needed

What Men Really Think About Successful, Independent Women

The Different Needs of Men and Women

What Makes a Man Happy In Marriage?

Smart women can intimidate prospective mates

9.14.2006

now why would he say that?

"Nonlethal weapons such as high-power microwave devices should be used on American citizens in crowd-control situations before being used on the battlefield, the Air Force secretary said Tuesday."

oh now thats a good idea.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/09/12/usaf.weapons.ap/index.html


(note that the article also says: "On another subject, Wynne said he expects to choose a new contractor for the next generation aerial refueling tankers by next summer." with a 20 billion dollar contract...hmm... 20 billion dollars could go a long way...could it be there is a little something extra going on with these "refeuling tankers"?)

9.11.2006

The Roots - Baby

The Roots just came out with another album, "Game Theory". classic. The Roots have always had good lyrics. people think they are just another "dirty" band with dirty lyrics but they actualy have really good lyrics. kind of sarcastic at times to get their point accross. but all the same. below is a song off their new album called "baby" its got the beat. it'll make you think.

listen here

THE ROOTS

"Baby"

Slow down when you're hitting them corners
Fuck around, spill this 'gnac on my two hundred dollar suit
(stop being a backseat driver man)

Your ma don't like to jitterbug, said this unholy music
Hip hop just so ridiculous, everything sounds so confusing
Nowadays ain't nothing like it was, one thing that showed the blues
Is this system so mysterious, can't let that stop the movement
Can't get no satisfaction, they all laughing, glad it's happening
All wings hot for the main attraction
Acting a fool with a lust for action
Young girl caught in a crime of passion
Sitting there crying in designer fashion
Didn't blow, didn't have time for asking
Somebody call for the ambulance, girl

Baby, baby, baby
Baby let me live, please girl let me slide
Baby, baby, baby
Baby if you let me go, I swear I'll change, just change your mind

Your old man don't like to jitterbug, said this old dirty music
Hip hop just so ridiculous, them stories too confusing
Nowadays he ain't loving you like he was
And you ain't there just for using
Could have sworn that was him with another girl
And they wasn't out just for cruising
Can't get no satisfaction
He out late nights, probably smashing
Leaving a trail like Charlie tracks
Or the train on the ground, downtown Manhattan
Everybody seen him run around and you bound to catch him
The condoms, you found and asked him, was all this just for practice?
He didn't realize what he had
Now your heart got fractured girl

Baby, baby, baby
Baby, baby, baby

Taking it to the next level

Ive taken this to the next level. now im posting songs you can listen to. First off: i downloaded this today from itunes. its brilliant. The Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine. its beautiful

listen to a portion of the song here



Lyrics:

Please, remember me
Happily
By the rosebush laughing
With bruises on my chin
The time when
We counted every black car passing
Your house beneath the hill
And up until
Someone caught us in the kitchen
With maps, a mountain range,
A piggy bank
A vision too removed to mention
But

Please, remember me
Fondly
I heard from someone you're still pretty
And then
They went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like 'We'll meet again'
And 'Fuck the man'
And 'Tell my mother not to worry'
And angels with their gray
Handshakes
Were always done in such a hurry
And

Please, remember me
At Halloween
Making fools of all the neighbors
Our faces painted white
By midnight
We'd forgotten one another
And when the morning came
I was ashamed
Only now it seems so silly
That season left the world
And then returned
And now you're lit up by the city
So

Please, remember me
Mistakenly
In the window of the tallest tower call
Then pass us by
But much too high
To see the empty road at happy hour
Leave and resonate
Just like the gates
Around the holy kingdom
With words like 'Lost and Found' and 'Don't Look Down'
And 'Someone Save Temptation'
And

Please, remember me
As in the dream
We had as rug-burned babies
Among the fallen trees
And fast asleep
Aside the lions and the ladies
That called you what you like
And even might
Give a gift for your behavior
A fleeting chance to see
A trapeze
Swing as high as any savior
But

Please, remember me
My misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain
And chasing trains
The colored birds above there running
In circles round the well
And where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter's
So bright with cinder gray
And spray paint
'Who the hell can see forever?'
And

Please, remember me
Seldomly
In the car behind the carnival
My hand between your knees
You turn from me
And said 'The trapeze act was wonderful
But never meant to last'
The clown that passed
Saw me just come up with anger
When it filled with circus dogs
The parking lot
Had an element of danger
So

Please, remember me
Finally
And all my uphill clawing
My dear
But if i make
The pearly gates
Do my best to make a drawing
Of G-d and Lucifer
A boy and girl
An angel kissin on a sinner
A monkey and a man
A marching band
All around the frightened trapeze swingers

Na-na
Na-na-na
Na-na
Na-na...

9.06.2006

9.05.2006

progress 5 #2

representative friar hyades catcall codetermine constantinople karyatid leucine chinook
fortune preemption channel mathews scutum telescopic infestation mudguard rate
that'll utter conner ani carpenter haze claim vend boisterous

progress 5 #1

barkeep burley grimace mass interpolate highwaymen medicinal aerosol cetus
contiguity lunary parabolic ritz buzzy cochlea inordinate belvedere argumentative
pax moral loathe h deadlock intolerant myosin clandestine buckle

as it stands

i have 83 spam messages with text included that ive been meaning to add to the blog. unfortunately, thats a bit many to post. so ive decided to only post the ones that have a string of text. random words. great words. words i never knew existed. and this will be called progress 5. look forward to it.