and if your (blank) causes you to stumble...

ive been "starving" lately for random good stuff. (literally) you see, at one point in my life i had this magical thing called google reader. when i went to it, it provided a magical door to many peoples websites. this magical door would allow me to read everything they wrote in real time. and the best part is that i got to decide which peoples websites i wanted to peer into ...in real time of course.

so began the stumbling. i would add more and more useless crap (aka: extremely amusing websites and blogs) to my google reader. it was good in that it provided hours of entertainment, but it was bad in that it was completely useless other than impressing people with useless crap. there were, of course, friend's websites linked to it, but that was by far the minority. so this continued and continued.

now the really bad part about this, and my personality, is that i basically have to read everything in my google reader whenever i look at it. period. so it would take longer and longer to read everything. it made me late for dinner parties and engagements. (neither of which i actually have, but for the purpose of the story lets pretend i do). it made me really depressed when i would get off line at night and realized i just wasted 1.8 hours reading useless crap. basically my whole being suffered.

then one day, one saterday night i believe, it reached a climax: i could only read the content just as fast as it came in. there was no getting ahead. it was not humanly possible for me to read all the content. more would pop up. you see...its in real time. so it was a trap. a terrible one. it was like tv. just sucked into crap. and it never ended.

and so i hope at this point in the story you will have learned the moral.

i did too. and so what i did to remedy it is as follows.

1. create a separate gmail account.
2. copy all useless rss feeds into the account.
3. delete all the useless feeds from main gmail account.
4. make up a really complicated and random password to the second, rss-feed dedicated gmail account.
5. write the password on one little piece of paper. (if you have a photographic memory...dont photo it.)
6. put the piece of paper in a plastic bag.
7. open up the sewer main in basement.
8. attach bag to sewer main wall and close.

and Ta Da! i can only read all the useless crap when i really really really dont have anything better to do.

and as i sit here today over the lunch hour. i miss my rss feed. i miss my sin.

oh the life of a sinner. *sigh*


(sadly...ive been reading the news instead. uuuuugh.)